eBaby Health

The Sleepeasy Solution: The Exhausted Parent's Guide to Getting Your Child to Sleep from Birth to Age 5

Paperback: 308 pages Publisher: HCI (April 1, 2007) Language: English ISBN-10: 0757305601 ISBN-13: 978-0757305603

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Getting enough sleep is crucial when you've given birth - but how DO you accomplish that when you have to tend to your bundle of joy, who hasn't yet developed an internal clock or a sense of day and night? Sleepless nights with a newborn are a given. Here are some tips to help get the baby on a schedule - and get some sleep yourself.

Develop a rhythm

This is the first step in moving towards sleep. Newborns sleep an average of 16 hours a day. Unfortunately, this massive need for sleep is interrupted by the need for food and a dry diaper, approximately every 2 hours for the first couple of weeks. Don't try to get your newborn on a "schedule" during this time period - a newborn's nervous system isn't mature enough for a schedule at this point. You should, however, start developing a rhythm and routine for getting the baby back to sleep.

Encourage good sleeping habits

No matter what you do, a newborn is still going to wake for night-time feedings. However, follow these simple steps to make sure your infant develops good sleep habits early on and establishes a sleeping pattern that includes only 1 or 2 (at most!) night-time feedings.

• Encourage activity during the day. When your baby is awake, keep him or her engaged in play, talking, singing and age-appropriate toys. Stimulation during the daytime hours will encourage night-time sleeping.
• Monitor naps. It's really, really tempting to let sleeping babies lie but remember - the more the baby sleeps during the daytime, the less she or he will sleep at night. By the time the baby is 6 months old, napping should be regular and limited to 2 naps of 2 hours each, at most. Be aware that disrupting nap times will also disrupt night sleep, so try to stay at home during nap hours. (Yes, that means you won't go out much.)
• Follow a consistent bedtime routine. My aunt gave me some of the best advice I've ever received: establish a routine that precedes sleep time and stick with it. It signals to the baby that it's time to sleep and that the routine ends with sleep. This helps establish a rhythm. Bedtime routines change as your baby gets older, but the change is gradual so that parts of the routine remain well established. If you play music, always play the same music. If you sing a song, always make it the same song. Trust me - they never tire of it. (Well, until they're teenagers but that's a completely different web site.) And for heaven's sake resist the temptation to leave the baby with a bottle. I know newborns can't hold a bottle, but don't make this part of the routine when they are! Not only is it not good for their teeth, but you will regret it.
• Put the baby to bed drowsy but awake. This helps your baby associate the bed with the process of falling asleep. Remember to place the baby on his or her back and remove any objects from the crib that could be harmful.
• Give the baby time to settle down. The baby may fuss some, but should settle quickly, especially if the routine is an established one and she or he is drowsy. Leave the room and close the door or, if you don't have a monitor, leave it partially open so you can hear. The point of the routine is that it ends when the baby is put in the crib. Going back and picking the baby up creates a new element of the routine and an expectation that fussing can extend bed time. While you want to be reassuring, you don't want to encourage fussing or crying to avoid sleep.
• Consider a pacifier. If your baby has trouble settling down, a pacifier might do the trick. In fact, using a pacifier during sleep may reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). But there are pitfalls, too. If your baby uses a pacifier to sleep, you may face frequent middle-of-the-night crying spells when the pacifier falls out of your baby's mouth. Some pediatricians are opposed to pacifiers. I had one pacifier baby and one finger-sucker (I swear he sucked his fingers in utero). You can at least wean a baby off a pacifier - you can't wean them off their fingers.
• Expect frequent stirring at night. Babies wiggle. And sigh. And burp. And pass gas. This is why they should sleep in another room. Otherwise, you have to learn to ignore all this or you'll never get any sleep. If you sleep with the baby in your room, wait until there's a full waking and crying before conceding that yes indeed, the infant is awake. Many times, the sighing and wiggling are just part of sleep phases. Interrupting them by picking up the baby disturbs their sleep cycle.
• Keep pre-sleep time low key. A half-hour before bedtime isn't the time to play "toss the baby in the air" or any other rambunctious games. The hour or so preceding a nap or bedtime should be low-key, with quieter voices and more sedentary activities. This is all part of the routine you need to establish to lead up to bedtime.
• Make sure you are feeding your baby enough during the day. Typically, a full baby is a sleepy baby. A baby who gets enough to eat during the daytime will wake less for feedings at night. For up to the first 6 months, a fussy baby usually signals hunger, fatigue or the need for a diaper change. Newborns have pretty basic needs.
• Night-time feeding hints. The night-time feeding(s) needs to be as routine as all other routines leading to sleep. The goal in the middle of the night is to return the baby back to sleep as quickly as possible after feeding and changing. The attitude you want to signal is that this is not play time or even awake time. I found it most helpful to feed the baby first. If you're nursing, nurse on one breast. If you're bottle feeding, feed half the bottle. Then change the diaper. This accomplishes two things: (1) the baby stops screaming with hunger and (2) the diaper change wakes him or her up so you can finish the feeding. Sometimes babies are too tired to finish a complete feeding and if you don't have a diaper change to wake them up, they will wake up sooner than expected to finish what they started a couple hours before. Better to make sure they get a full feeding. After nursing the second breast or finishing the bottle, put the baby back down and leave the room.

Remember, getting your baby to sleep through the night isn't indicative of your parental skills - it's simply a goal you're working toward. Some babies are easier than others and some babies accomplish this sooner than others. Establishing restful sleep habits is one step towards one of the most important skills in parenting: consistency.